I work in Subiaco. Subiaco, as far as Perth goes, is a bit of a fashion hub. It's a place where the best result you can hope for is to not stand out from the crowd, because if you do, it's probably because your shoes aren't pointy enough or your sunglasses aren't ridiculously huge enough.
Lately (possibly for my entire life) I have failed to understand fashion. I've always been quite a practical person. I have some particular annoyances that I wish to raise with you.
Large Sunglasses (and the overuse of sunglasses in general)
Sunglasses allow a person to remain completely devoid of any facial expression. They sap the very last scrap of personality or character from one's face. I think this may be the intention (due to the fact that most people these days generally suck as people, and they know they have nothing to offer you beyond looking omg HOT) . There are only 3 reasons for wearing sunglasses when it's not really that sunny outside.
- You have an embarrassing shiner from a public beating from a much smaller person to hide
- You are partial to a bit of the old whacky tobacci and your friends just don't understand.
- You have no eyes or really weird eyes.
This one hasn't taken off quite yet - but i have noticed it slowly creeping in around the place. What's in their oversized handbags? I have a few ideas but I can't be certain..
- The biggest sunglasses ever made
- Another handbag. With another one inside that. With Canesten inside that.
- 3 copies of every single season of Sex & the City on DVD complete with a plaster model of Sarah Jessica Parker's Bumpier than average face
I'm out of time again.. so that is all.
6 comments:
As a female of the species I would like to point out that gigantic handbags and large sunglasses have a purpose. When wearing large sungalsses with my friends who are wearing equally large sunglasses, we can comfortably rip the piss out of people without looking like we are doing it, namely because our faces are successfully hidden.
Gigantic handbags also serve many purposes, namely that I can carry around enough music and books (and also food, because it is hard to get good vegetarian fare in a city full of charred flesh eating fools) so that when I venture out into the world of ignoramouses and morons, I can at least whet my intellectual appetite enough so I do not go postal.
But otherwise, because most girls are not as awesome as me, you are correct sir.
Daniel, I can say without wax that you are pretty rad.
All valid points.. well done. I somehow doubt you are in the majority by actually utilising the 16 square feet of space in your giant bag.
Maybe i should try the large sunglasses thing - I constantly get caught mocking strangers.
sing it brother. The big bag is to carry more big sunnys, so they can prepare for each new mood of mono tone. Do a blog on fluro. I look foward to your view on this subject.
I have tried this fad - wearing huge sunglasses - but i quickly decided against it as made me look like a blowfly; or an idiot. Perhaps both.
Ok so i didnt proof read my comment; there is supposed to be another 'it' in there somewhere.
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