There are only a few I have seen which I don't have an intense hatred for. Seinfeld was tolerable. Frasier had its moments. Arrested Development was pretty good actually.
For the remaining 1.6billion hours of excruciatingly awful comedy produced for your viewing pleasure can be collected in a large heshen sack, hung from a tree and beaten repeatedly with assorted pointy sticks.
The contents of this sack probably include:
* “According to Jim”. A top quality sitcom about a lazy, pig headed bad father who frequently impresses his hot wife with his incompetence, general poor hygiene and unwillingness to wear pants. I didn’t know you could fit that much laughter in a can until I had the pleasure of sitting through half an episode of this comedic piece of shit.
* “Full House”. I actually used to enjoy this show when I was five. I managed to catch an old episode a few months back and realised that it’s more creepy than funny to have 3 fully grown men (one of them frequently sporting a sock puppet to aid his apparent split personality) loitering around a house filled with kids who have almost no interaction with the outside world. Where are the Olsen twins now as a result of this poor upbringing?
* “The Nanny”. My goodness. If I was Niles the butler I would have stabbed every single member of the household up to 40 times with a letter opener at some point during episode 1. Nobody will ever get sick of the interaction between Ms Fine and Ms Babcock, complete with Niles’ witty innuendo that will keep both adult and children viewers in stitches. To top it all off, we have to deal with Brighton. Where is Brighton these days? My guess is he was kicked out of college for installing a webcam in the girls bathrooms, and now struggles to pay the rent in his crappy apartment while he works as an assistant fish scaler in a predominantly black neighbourhood with the sixth highest homicide rate in America. You suck Brighton and your all-too-frequently sexual remarks aren’t cute when you’re 26.
* “Family Matters”. This one went prime time. Are we really supposed to believe a spastic like Urkel wouldn’t have been arrested after the tenth attempt of getting into Laura’s bathroom?
* “Harry & the Hendersons”. A family comedy about Chewbacca’s retarded cousin, Harry. Even his name is funny because it almost sounds like “hairy”. I think that joke was the sole reason why this comedy made it on your tv sets. I enjoyed the family car with the fake wood panels on the side, but the rest of this series was the comedic equivalent to publicly shitting yourself after being squeezed firmly by a python.
* “Blossom”. Reeeeeeally wanted to throw misc items at this girl. Hated every second of every episode ever aired – and I was TEN at the time. Just the sight of her made me rage. She might be the main contributing factor behind this blog.
Americans don’t understand irony. Everything needs to be explained to the audience which removes the last skerrick of enjoyment from working out for yourself why a certain remark or occurence is funny.
STOP EXPLAINING YOUR JOKES TO US AMERICA. AND WHEN WE DON’T LAUGH, STOP MAKING NEW SHOWS WITH THE SAME JOKES IN THE HOPE THAT WE MIGHT LAUGH THIS TIME.
12 comments:
Who the hell was Brain in The Nanny? Or do you mean Brighton? lol Both you and my brother think it was the worst TV Show ever made. Im positive that there are much worse.
God i remember Full House well... The writers were so creative; in almost every episode Uncle Jesse just had to say "Have Mercy!" Hilarious.
oops.. brighton it is :) changed it :D
hehe good job :P
How is it possible that the visual abortion called Will and Grace was left off your list. Daniel, I thought I knew you.
Well, I am taking it upon myself to add this cesspool of a show.
Will and Grace:
A sitcom starring a horrendous gay man and his equally horrendous best friend, who dresses like a two dollar hooker who just went on a shopping spree at St Vinnies. Plenty of slapstick tom fooloery, very little substance. My slightly retarded dog could have written a better script for a sitcom. If given an ultimatum between watching this show and dancing an entire Fergie album (the second closest thing to certain insanity), you know which I am choosing.
Have you any idea how close I was to including Will & Grace to the list? I actually started typing it. I also started typing Dharma & Greg and realised I hadn't seen enough of it to write about. All I know is Dharma is a "free spirit" which makes Greg uncomfortable and that's the source of 90% of the plot.
Call me crazy but i actually liked Will & Grace haha
You're crazy. Insane in the membrane.
Thank you Daniel. Its such a relief to have it out in the open...
RE Dharma and Greg: The other 10% is made up of the hilarity that ensues when the parents in law are also added to the equation, free lovin' couple apparently stuck 30 years in the past, and an uptight well off coupl with faux British accents... Can anyone say "comedy gold"? On the plus side, Dharma's father had pretty awesome hair, which alone almost made it watchable...
Dont forget Ned & Stacey
We can safely say that ALL the Male Name & Female Name sitcoms are awful.
Daniel, I heard through the psychic community that you can communicate with the dead.
Can you correspond with my dead cockatoo Daryl?
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